The Bank Account

A willow tree, beautiful weather and one cute kid helped make a wedding we attended this past weekend just fabulous. Friends of ours were married in our hometown and we got the opportunity to have a night out on the town.

Hearts A Lot

There was good wine. Delicious food. Sloppy dancing. Even some karaoke (don’t worry; I didn’t belt out my beloved AC/DC song).

Most importantly, there were speeches. I love, love, love wedding speeches. This is mostly because I love to learn more about the couples as we’re given perspective from their loved ones. I also soak up the insight and advice that’s given to the newlyweds regarding marriage.

Such was the case this weekend when the bride’s father compared marriage to a bank account. He said, you should be depositing more than you withdrawal. In other words, you should give more than you get from your partner. That’s the key to marriage.

I have definitely been in major withdrawal mode these past days. I feel like I’m constantly needing Toby to help walk me through work, personal and mom stresses and he’s taking on more around the house as a result.

  • Alex is up at 3 a.m. each night; then I’ll give him his bottle tonight.
  • I have four deadlines that should have been submitted 20 minutes ago; then I’ll do the bedtime routine.
  • I can’t fit into my jeans; then go for a run.
  • I can’t get the new Katy Perry song out of my head; then stop having such terrible taste in music.

See how much he helps?

I know it’s all give and take. I took Alex out Sunday night so Toby could have a few hours on his own. Instead, he spent the time fixing a leaky faucet in our bathroom.

Following another “I have a deadline today!” meltdown yesterday evening, Toby calmly asked me: So how can we simplify this situation for the future? We discussed strategies and solutions to bring about a more streamlined workflow. Instantly, I felt better and again thought about that bank account.

So, how you gonna deposit more into that bank account, Cathy? That’s what you’re thinking, isn’t it?

Well, I haven’t really thought about it. An afternoon out golfing? A full day with the house to himself? Having him paint the entire living room next Saturday?

I’ll try to make more effort doing those little things that add up: getting dinner organized; doing bedtime routine; buying him Pepsi; showing him the paint colours I’ve considered for the living room; and many more ways to prove my love.

In all seriousness, I think the asterisk to this piece of marital advice is this: Don’t keep tabs. Don’t look at how much you’ve put into the account and don’t point out how little you’ve received in return. The more you give the more you get.

*

Do you give or take more from the bank account?

What’s the best piece of relationship advice that has stuck with you?

Can I borrow five bucks?

 

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