How are Those Nibs?! And the story of Alex’s birth…

What happens in the delivery room stays in the delivery room. If we were in 1964.

Last week, a 21-year-old asked me about the pain of delivery. The question came after she stated she wants four children. Inside my crazed head, I asked myself: do I be honest? do I start sobbing? How can I properly communicate what happened on that ‘blessed’ December day of pure torture?

I’ve had many moms tell me their day of delivery was traumatic. Others called it euphoric. I call it “just as I had expected”. In essence, a combination of the two. Here’s what I mean:

10 minutes old

10 minutes old

-the pain was so ridiculous, I went through an entire tank of laughing gas. No one was laughing.

-the pain was so ridiculous, I ordered my husband to email a number of people, telling them how stupid they were. He (thankfully) didn’t send those emails.

-The pain was so ridiculous, that when Toby was chomping on a bag of Nibs Licorice, while I was huffing on gas, I glared at him, took a moment to remove the mask and turn my head toward him as he stood at the end of the bed and screamed: how are those Nibs, Toby? Are they delicious?!

-The moment Alex was born, all the ridiculousness disappeared.

Throughout the entire pregnancy, I had guessed it was a boy. When Toby announced the sex (after pushing for two hours, 13 minutes – who’s counting?!), I had already known and introduced the two doctors and three nurses to Alex. I cried. Toby called our family. And Alex sucked his thumb.

So how would I describe the pain? My boot camp instructor once said giving birth was easier than running a marathon, because you gave birth and could easily walk, unlike a marathon (she may or may not have been one of the people on my list of those to email).

I’ve run a marathon. You can always stop running. You can’t stop contractions that make you yell at a nurse you had politely talked to just hours ago, demanding she order the epidural.

In all honesty: it was the worst pain I’ve ever experienced. Could I describe it to you now? Not a chance. I’ve completely forgotten what the pain was like, which is probably some purple grape drink-hormone that’s released into your body that makes you forget so you’ll think about spitting out another child or two.

The cliché is true in this case: it’s the worst day of your life and instantly transforms into the best day of your life. Even if there weren’t any Nibs left to share.

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5 thoughts on “How are Those Nibs?! And the story of Alex’s birth…

  1. By far the most traumatic and beautiful day of a new mother’s life. Your body is in agony but you now fully understand the meaning of “love at first sight”. The physical pain of that day has somehow been forgotten (never thought that would happen; always thought it would be forever seared in my brain) and we have actually discussed the subject of “having another”!

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